of human action
by gathers-no-moss
Summary: Various drabbles and short fics featuring Kate Austen.
1. Chapter 1: Over The Rainbow

**Title:** Over The Rainbow  
**Prompt**: rainbow  
**Word Count:** 108  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** A moment from Kate's childhood  
**Author's Notes:** Originally, written for the lostsquee drabble challenge on livejournal. This season, I've fallin' in love with Miss Kate Austen all over again, so all these drabbles will be connected to her. Enjoy!

* * *

Kate's red hightop sneakers scratch against the tree bark as she reaches for her favorite hiding place, branches full of leaves shielding her as she settles back into an indention.

Her once clear green eyes shine brightly with tears.

She pulls her skinned knees up and into her chest, resting a red cheek against them. The words come out hoarse, but clear as she starts to sing, trying to drown out the screams of her parents; trying to force back the image of her mom's head snapping back with brutal force.

_"Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then, oh, why can't I?"_

Dorothy had the right idea.

Run.


	2. Chapter 2: Something Real

**Title:** Something Real  
**Rating:** G  
**Spoiler Warning**: 1.11 - All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues  
**Words:** 108  
**Prompt: **vacation  
**Summary:** Kate's favorite trip  
**Author's Notes:** Written for lost_in_108;

* * *

This was their religion.

The little girl shifted her backpack across her thin shoulders; absently scratched at a bug bit on her arm and swiped sweaty bangs away from her forehead.

Her slightly freckled face stared up at her dad, watched as he frowned, his eyes crinkling in concentration at a collection of broken branches; their green leaves dangling precariously at the ends. She mimicked his stance, adoring eyes never leaving his face as she soaked in what he was telling her through only his expression. Then he touched a finger to his lips and pointed straight ahead at a set of deer tracks a few feet away.


	3. Chapter 3: Hand Of Sorrow

**Title:** Hand Of Sorrow  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warning: **mention of suicide  
**Prompt:** #29/sacrifice  
**Words:** 108  
**Summary:** Her final moment is waiting.  
**Author's Notes:** Written for lost_in_108. Probably doesn't make sense. But I like it. Sorta inspired by a song by Within Temptation.

* * *

Her final moment is waiting.

The island demands it, whispering sweet nothings in her ear at the edge of the ocean, suffocating her with desperation_._ Water sweeps almost soothingly over her feet and she's sinking slowly into the sand, fingers clasped tightly around the knife handle.

A breeze blows brown curls into her face and she closes her dry eyes, blocking out the unforgiving sun. She resigned herself to this fate long ago. Knew the island wouldn't let her leave. Not again. The cycle would begin, over and over until the circle was complete.

The island _(destiny)_ takes care of its own. She's just choosing when it happens.


	4. Chapter 4: The Island Taketh Away

**Title:** The Island Taketh Away  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers/Warnings:** death  
**Prompt:** #30/reunion  
**Words:** 108  
**Summary: **The shadow of death finds them.  
**Author's Notes:** Written for lost_in_108. I'm apparently in a morbid mood.

These stories are also posted on my live journal as irishunicorn03.

* * *

"Where's Jack?"

She questions them with an authority she doesn't feel. The force of her words seem hollow, echoing in the vacuum of silence that has suddenly befallen their little group. Her arm falls heavily to her side, a gun dropping into the sand with a dull thud.

Her legs feel like weights, trudging forward slowly as if they already know what her heart doesn't want to know.

Everyone avoids her gaze; stances full of pity as they part one by one, the only survivors of a war no one wanted to fight. It's torment where none should exist.

The shadow of death lays before her. Finally peaceful.


	5. Chapter 5: Perfect Moment

**Title:** Perfect Moment  
**Rating**: G  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Summary:** There's a perfect day that lives in her memories.

* * *

There's a perfect day that lives in her memories.

A mother and daughter walking hand in hand across the white sparkling sands of an almost deserted beach; the bluest ocean waves rushing up to meet them when they stand just at the edge. She still remembers the feel of the water, how it tickled her ankles, running smooth and cool over the tops of her bare feet. How the sand felt as it wormed its way between her toes; rough, funny, and as she had shifted from one foot to the other, just a tiny bit uncomfortable.

The water had seemed to go on for miles, making her green eyes dance with wonder. They had traveled over the wide expanse, searching for its ending. And when she had found it, in all her childish innocence, it had thought that the water was falling off the edge of the world, to be swallowed up by a big yellow sun playing peek-a-boo with her over the horizon.

When she mentioned that to her mother, she had laughed, filling the air with music, to Kate the best sound in the whole world.

"This is the perfect moment."

Kate could only nod yes at her mother's statement, staring up at her with wide eyes, because she's never seen her look so at peace. So beautiful. She never wanted that to go away. Her childish faith told her it never would.

Her mother's hand tightened slightly over hers as she looked down, serenity etched into the lines of her face, her eyes shifting with emotions and colors. Just a hint of a smile played with the corners of her mouth. She softly pushed a piece of blond hair behind her ear as a warm breeze swept around them.

But the moment passed by quickly.

"I need you to make me a promise, Katharine." The slight hitch in her voice couldn't be missed. Nor the tiny tears reflected in her eyes. Peacefulness disappeared before her, a haunted look taking its place.

She spoke eagerly. Quietly. Needing to do anything to make the tears disappear. To make the moment from before, the way she had looked, last forever. She tugged on her hand. "What, momma?"

Her mother knelt in the sand in front of her, trailing the back of her hand across a sunburned cheek, her eyes pleading.

"Promise me that you'll never forget today."

It's the only promise to her mother she ever kept.

_(She wouldn't understand the why until later.)_


	6. Chapter 6: Her Guys

**Title: **Her Guys  
**Rating**: G  
**Spoilers:** None  
**Word Count:** 655  
**Summary:** Celebrating a special day with her guys.  
**Author's Notes:** I don't really write fluff, but I figured if any day deserved some, it's this one. So much fluff that you'll choke on it. **Happy Mother's Day** to any mother who happens upon this.

* * *

Kate woke to the early morning sun filtering through her bedroom blinds and an empty bed. Blinking rapidly to wipe the sleep from her eyes, she ran a hand over the rumpled sheets next to her, still slightly warm from where his body had been. It wasn't unusual for her to wake up alone, but considering what day it was, and the all too sneaky expressions on Jack and Aaron's faces the night before, she had a feeling something was brewing in the kitchen below her. The lack of cartoon noise greeting her ears only confirmed her suspicions.

Her guys were up to something and she needed to find out what.

A grin swept across her lips as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She brushed a wild strand of hair out of her face, sweeping it up into a messy ponytail with the band on her night table before grabbing her blue robe off the back of the closet door.

She slide her hand smoothly down the banister as she made her way downstairs, hoping to be as quiet as possible. Only the stairs weren't cooperating with her plan and they squeaked and creaked almost the whole way down. The only noise in the eerie silence.

That was, until she hit the bottom step.

She just stood there for a moment, head cocked to the side, lips twitching with another smile, listening the sounds of _her family;_ Jack and Aaron's not-so-quiet whispers accompanied by the occasional banging of a pan; the refrigerator door slamming; and finally, the patter of bare feet running across the kitchen floor.

This was home. The two people she loved most in the world filling every space with happiness. A tear hit her left cheek which she absently wiped away. She took a deep cleansing breathe and entered what had _formally_ been the kitchen. Her eyes widened almost comically as she took in her surroundings. Complete and utter chaos reigned. She choked on a laugh, _or it could have been a sob, _and centered her hands on her hips.

"What happened in here?"

At her question they both turned to look at her, identical looks of innocence adorning their flour covered faces.

_Really. How could she be mad at them when they looked so adorable?_

Aaron just grinned at her and plopped an egg into a bowl with a splat. He grabbed a big plastic spoon from beside the bowl and started stirring, yolk spilling out over the sides. "I'm making breakfast, mommy."

"I can see that, baby." She laughed and cut her eyes to Jack, who was grinning, but was studiously avoiding her eyes while lightly stirring his own bowl.

The next moment, Jack was leaning over to whisper something in Aaron's ear. Kate watched in interest as the expression on his face changed from concentration to excitement as Jack helped him down off the chair he was using to reach the counter. He ran over to her, throwing his arms around her legs and turning his face towards hers. She ran a hand through his blonde hair, smoothing it back from his face.

"Happy Mommy's Day, mommy."

Her eyes sparkled and the warm glow that was centered in her chest spread to the rest of her body. She leaned down and gathered him in her arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek before letting go. "Thank you, sweat pea."

He hopped right back up into the kitchen chair and continued stirring.

She turned her attention to the other man in her life, shooting him the smile she only reserved for him. "Jack, you really didn't have to do anything." She ran her hand across his cheek to wipe away some of the flour, her fingers lingering against his stubble.

He shrugged almost bashfully and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Just a little something for putting up with us for so long. And don't worry." He kissed her again over the giggles of Aaron. "I'm on cleaning duty."


	7. Chapter 7: Message In A Bottle

**Title: **Message In a Bottle  
**Spoilers: **post - The End  
**Prompt: **#36/message  
**Words: **108  
**Summary:** She's sinking when she firsts sees the bottle.  
**Author's Notes:** written for lost_in_108. Why is it that your muse dies the moment you need to write post 'The End' fic?

* * *

She's sinking when she first sees the bottle; sunlight glinting off the clear glass as it rolls in the gently crashing waves. It nestles itself at her feet and she's cradling it in her palm before she realizes what she's doing. A note gradually appears as she wipes away mud and sand. Curiosity makes her pop the cork off.

Her hand trembles lightly.

She only makes it as far as _'Dear Jack' _before forcing the antique paper back into the bottle, ripping pieces of it in the process. She shoves the cork on as tears fall and throws it into the ocean, watching as it disappears from view.


	8. Chapter 8: My Perfect Stranger

**Title:** My Perfect Stranger  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** none  
**Prompt:** #38/trust  
**Words:** 108  
**Summary: **For a cop, Kevin trusts easily.  
**Author's Notes:** written for lost_in_108 and because I have Nathan Fillion on the brain.

* * *

There's a boyish innocence in the way he trusts her, wearing it like a badge of honor on his sleeve. His eyes twinkle with an inherent faith in her, that's more than once made her breathe catch. (_She allows the guilt to burn as she swallows it whole_.)

He touches her in the belief that she will always be his, with fingers gliding over the light dusting of freckles on her shoulder as he pushes into her.

"I love you, Monica."

She takes it from him, heart outstretched with greed.

The next day, lips curve with quiet hope as he kneels before her. His voice shakes.

"Marry me?"


	9. Chapter 9: As First Times Go

**Title:** As First Times Go  
**Rating:** G  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Word Count:** 571  
**Summary:** Her first kiss.

* * *

Fireflies buzzed around them in the dusk, sending out sparks of light they chased until they were both breathless from laughing and sprawled out on their backs in a clump of soft grass.

The silence between them flowed with the steady hum of crickets chirping and of owls hooting in the distance. That was, until Kate broke it, tugging strands of wet hair away from her face and moving onto her side to prop her head up on her hand.

"We should kiss."

Her request (_demand really, because she'd said it like it was a done deal_) has her best friend sitting up and wide eyed. And for a second, Tom looks at her like she's grown a second head. When he finds his voice, it comes out in a squeak. "What?"

She calmly explained her rational. After all, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. "For practice. For when we grow up."

The first words that come to his mind after that is, "Kissin' is gross." He screws his face up in disgust for better effect.

Kate crossed her arms over her chest, tilted her head and glared. Stands so that she towers over him. "Are you saying I'm gross, Thomas?"

He swallows hard and stands with her. He really hates when she's mad at him. "No, I-" Tom looked down and shuffled a foot back and forth in the grass, feeling his face turning red. She was actually the only girl he didn't find gross, but that was only because she knew how to climb trees (_she was teaching him_) and knew all the best hiding spots for hide and seek. "You're my best friend, Katie." But that didn't mean he wanted to kiss her. Did it?

Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight. "Does that mean you'll do it?"

He sighed loudly, but mumbled, "Okay," because he just couldn't deny her. And maybe, _maybe_ just a tiny, _tiny_ part of him wanted to see what the deal was.

"What?"

"Okay. Okay." He held up his hands in surrender. "But you can't tell nobody."

"Wasn't planning on it."

"So...what...how do we do this?"

She shrugged her shoulders and inched closer to him. "Just press our lips together." And maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all because her palms were beginning to sweat and her heart was beating just a little bit faster. But she couldn't back out now because she's laid down a challenge and she had to follow through.

They close their eyes.

It's a brief hard press of lips. _Chapped lips._ Their noses bump almost painfully and it's more teeth than anything else. After a few seconds, Tom gets antsy and pulls away first. Kate opens her eyes to find him just staring at her, like she's something new and shiny and he doesn't quite know what to do next.

She's feeling a little bit like that herself.

Tom opens his mouth, closes it and opens it again like a fish out of water. But before he can say anything, she punches him on the shoulder, trying to regain some semblance of control and turns to run.

It only takes him a moment before he chases.


	10. Chapter 10: Monster Begot Monster

**Title:** monster begot monster  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers/Warnings**: 2.09 – iWhat Kate Did/i  
**Prompt:** #42/create  
**Summary:** Kate finds out a horrifying truth.  
**Author's Notes:** Written for lost_in_108.

* * *

Photos crashed onto the coffee table, slipping from her trembling fingers as if they were burning. Every single one telling the same horrifying story.

A feeling crawled inside her heart, tainting what was left of the pureness of her childhood. Memories shifted and changed. Nausea swirled and she bolted for the bathroom with a hand over her mouth; chest heaving and tears glistening.

She emptied herself and slide over to lean against the wall, bringing her knees up into her chest.

_December 1977._

The date, scrawled in black ink across a canvas of dirty white, could only mean one thing.

_Wayne._

That man. That monster.

_He created me._


	11. Chapter 11: Give Me Some Wheels

**Title:** Give Me Some Wheels  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** none  
**Prompt:** #43/detour  
**Words:** 108  
**Summary: **Road trip.

* * *

The truck swerves to a stop, spraying up gravel and dust that drifts in through her open window. Kate coughs, glaring in Sawyer's direction while rubbing her chest where the seat belt has snapped back into her.

He shoots her a crooked grin, _sorry_, the dimple in his cheek deepening beneath a day's worth of stubble, and winks. "Which way, Freckles?"

This is their fork in the road.

She leans forward and shields her eyes against the sun's glare, glancing first in one direction and then the other. Wide open space. Endless possibilities.

The road map is a wrinkled mess beneath her feet.

They'll never use it anyway.


	12. Chapter 12: Smile

**Title:** Smile  
**Rating:** G  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Word Count:** 366  
**Summary:**Tom was her first friend.  
**Author's Note: **This originally was going to be a part of the fic, _As First Times Go_, which was going to be a series of firsts between Kate and Tom. That didn't work out, so I'm just posting it separately.

_

* * *

_

_Tom was her first friend._

A room full of five and six year olds stare at her as the door creaks open, wide-eyed with curiosity at the sudden intruder. The flush that rushes across her cheeks makes her freckles stand out even more. Someone coughs as the door slams shut. A high pitched giggle escapes from another little girl and the sound makes Kate tighten her small hand around her mother's (_both a bit sweaty_) and sends nervous butterflies that weren't there this morning squirming inside her stomach. She fiddles with the hem of her black t-shirt, tugging it down to cover more of her jeans. She's never wanted to run away more in her entire life. But her mother kneels in front of her, blocking her way to the outside world where freedom lives.

Diane brushes a stray curl away from Kates face and briefly touches her cheek, looking directly into her eyes. "Be good."

"Mom-"

The hand wrapped around hers gives a gentle tug. "Promise me, Katharine."

She can't argue when her mother uses that voice, and counts herself lucky that her middle name wasn't included. So she puts on her brave face and steps away from the comforting warmth of her mother. "Okay."

Diane stands, not quite smiling at the teacher, and then leaves Kate standing in the middle of the classroom, the heat of the other kids stares still crawling over her. She skittishly shifts from one foot to the other, converse sneakers letting out a light squeak against the shining linoleum. Then her teacher approaches, a friendly smile arching over her bright red lips. A nice smile. One that even reaches her eyes. It's been awhile since Kate's seen one like that.

"Hello, Katharine."

(_She has a nice voice too._)

Her teacher guides her to a desk where her name is neatly written on a piece of paper taped to the top.

"Here you go, sweetie."

Kate catches the eye of the boy next to her as she sits down. He pushes back the floppy hair that's fallen in his eyes and shoots her friendly but shy grin and whispers,

"I'm Tom."

She grins back, suddenly, inexplicably at ease.

"Katie."


	13. Chapter 13: Once Upon A Time

**Title: **Once Upon A Time  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers: **_The End; _After Kate leaves the island.  
**Prompt: **#49/lie  
**Words: **108  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108 lj.

* * *

Her fist bunches in the blue fabric of his t-shirt. Knuckles white and digging into the skin around the wound. Holding him into existence.

It burns. His life. Wet and pulsing, it seeps through the seams of desperation her fingers have made before spilling onto the bed between them.

A tear trickles down the side of her nose, the salty taste hitting her lips and disappearing on her tongue. Her smile bleeds with defeat.

"Lie to me," she whispers.

_Just this once._

Jack frowns and caresses her cheek, trailing a streak of red across her skin. But he won't deny her need.

"And they lived happily ever after."


	14. Chapter 14: Trying My Best

**Title: **trying my best just to stay alive  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers: **none  
**Prompt: **#50/mirror  
**Words: **108  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108 on livejournal.

* * *

Kate runs away when she's seven.

Wayne's yelling, her mother is crying, and the sound of shattering glass echoes off the thin walls. The broken shards collect her image, splitting her into pieces. For a moment, she's torn between staying and leaving _(but she sees the bruise across Ma's cheek and the warning in her eyes), _and knows.

She scrambles out the screen door, her own tears _(of guilt)_ trickling down and her ponytail flying wildly. She hides in an empty lot a few houses down, the tall grass (_weeds)_ shielding her from the world as she leans against a rusty barrel, praying for Wayne to pass out.


	15. Chapter 15: Let It Be

**Title: **let it be  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers: **_Born to Run  
_**Prompt: **#52/bottle  
**Words: **108  
**Summary: **Tom was the man she loved. Now he's dead.  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108. I promise I'm writing a fluffy Jate fic, but until then, here's another angsty one. ;)

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Afterward, Kate tucks herself into a hotel off the beaten path, a paper bag held tightly in her hand like it's her salvation.

She settles herself against carpet the color of blood and a bed frame that moans when she leans against it.

Tilts her head back.

Swallows.

The whiskey burns as it slithers down her throat, sending an oil slick of emotions gathering in her stomach - lighting a fire that explodes like shrapnel into the rest of her body.

She wakes with a pounding headache and stars dancing before her eyes - dry tear tracks racing down her cheeks, and suddenly remembers that Jack Daniel's was Wayne's favorite.


	16. Chapter 16: Danger Zone

**Please notice the name change. **Formally _Summary of a Life Lived_.

* * *

**Title: **Danger Zone  
**Rating: **G  
**Prompt: **#54/nightmare  
**Words:** 108  
**Summary: **For the moment, Kate's mommy again.  
**Author's Notes:** written for lost_in_108

* * *

The sound of a child's cry wakes her. Sleep rushes away as the word 'mommy' screams through the air and her feet hit the floor before her mind has the time to register:

_'I'm not mommy anymore.'_

She's in his room within seconds, hand soft and whispering through his hair as she gathers him in her arms, tucking him against her chest as he shakes.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay."

Aaron clings, balling a fist into the front of her t-shirt. "Don't leave me."

Claire stares at them from the doorway, a flash of wild grief ripping through her and turns away.

For the moment, Kate's mommy again.


	17. Chapter 17: The After Hours

**Title:** The After Hours  
**Spoilers: **_316  
_**Rating:** PG (implied sex)  
**Author's Notes: **This is just me experimenting with imagery.

_

* * *

_

_Then I'm going with you_ rings fragile, haunting the stillness with shattering accuracy. A stab in the heart of what their relationship used to be.

The weight of the world tugs on his bent frame, outlined underneath the palm of her hand when they finally collapse onto the bed;a tangle of arms and legs grasping for control. Nightmares they've created throw shadows on the walls as they pour betrayal and regret into the slide of skin against skin.

_I'm not broken _isn't whispered, only planted in the bruises dotting her hips and in the suffocating kisses against the line of her jaw – chasing demons that blur the edges of their reality and send them spiraling into the icy waters of denial.

_Don't try to fix me_ isn't whispered, but it lingers in the air like a dirty little secret before settling across Jack's shoulders, knotting in the desperation Kate's fingers make as she claws into his back, arching into him with a soft moan and tears that reflect the silver moonlight - burning imprints of pain and sorrow caused by too many mistakes.

His and hers.


	18. Chapter 18: And The Flames Went Higher

**Title: **and the flames went higher  
**Rating: **PG  
**Spoilers: **_What Kate Did  
_**Prompt: **#57/devise  
**Summary: **Little girls shouldn't play with fire.  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108. I'm hoping this makes sense.

* * *

She's seven and fascinated by the way the flame flickers every time she takes a breath; excitement making her hand tremble and eyes widen at the spark of light the match throws.

_(Little girls shouldn't play with fire. But Kate's never been good with people telling her what to do.)_

Then the fire licks at her finger and the carpet erupts before she can stop it. Water extinguishes it, but her heart's beating too fast for her to do anything but stare at the blackened floor afterward.

Wayne's asleep on the couch and doesn't wake up until later.

_(__She's twenty-four when he doesn't wake up at all.)_


	19. Chapter 19: Page After Page

**Title: **Pictures Fill Page After Page  
**Rating: **G  
**Prompt: **#60/thankful  
**Summary: **She's got a million pictures of that smile.  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108 on livejournal.

* * *

Kate's sitting cross legged on her bed, the table lamp giving off an inviting glow; pictures scattered across the blankets, organized into piles only she can understand.

Second birthday and there's chocolate cake smeared across his face, his grin almost disappearing underneath it. Jack's standing behind him, not quite in focus, but she can tell he's smiling too. She gently sits that one aside.

First day of preschool and a yellow rain coat is dwarfing his small frame. His head's tilted, hands are on his hips, and he's grinning mischievously up at her.

She's got a million pictures of that smile.

_(One thing she'll always be grateful for.)_


	20. Chapter 20: Christmas

**Title:** Christmas  
**Spoilers**: none  
**Summary:** Christmas time in the past and present and how some things always remain the same.  
**Author's Notes:** I tried to make this non-angsty, but a little bit managed to filter in anyway.

Happy Holidays!

* * *

Then, Christmas had been about her and Tom making snowmen and snow angels until they were numb and their noses a bright red that would make Rudolph hide in shame. It had been about laughing until they were hoarse and playing tag until the last remnants of light faded from the sky and he was called home.

_(It had also been about forgetting that Wayne was passed out on the couch and her mother had a brand new bruise for the holiday season.) _

Now, it's sunshine and beaches and the feel of sand between her toes. It's her and Jack swinging Aaron between them and the sound of laughter just as joyous as it had been all those years ago. It's stealing kisses underneath mistletoe that Jack had sneakily hung all around her house. And it's about a little boy's eyes lighting up at all the pretty Christmas lights and the presents they went over board with.

_(It's also about forgetting that they left people they loved on an island and that what they're living is a lie.)_


	21. Chapter 21: The Song Remembers When

**Title: **The Song Remembers When  
**Prompt: **#65/song  
**Summary: **She heard that familiar music start.  
**Author's Notes: **written for lost_in_108 on livejournal.

* * *

It's suffocating - the crushing atmosphere of people surrounding her, jostling her without apology while she's just trying to remember how to breathe.

_(walking quietly onto the floor, his palm sweaty underneath hers as they slowly start to dance.)_

It's paralyzing – the old familiar song burning her from the inside out, lacing dangerously with memories that were supposed to remain locked inside her.

_(shy glances that quickly turn bolder as his hand brushes up and down her back. she lifts her mouth to meet his...)_

It's shattering – as her grip loosens, glass and liquor exploding everywhere.

The song fades and the intercom crackles to life.

"Clean up. Aisle 6."


	22. Chapter 22: Nothin' But Your Soul

**Title:** Nothin' Satisfies But Your Soul  
**Spoilers: **none  
**Rating:** PG (death)  
**Summary: **It arrives not with a bang, but with a whimper.  
**  
**

* * *

It arrives not with a bang, but with a whimper – a thief in the night sweeping over her, empowered by the complete and total blackness of the room. It's sudden. Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Just how she's always imagined it would be. Just how it's supposed to be.

There's no promise of an eternal heaven. Or of an eternal hell. She's never been certain of either, anyway. Her many sins are just that. Sins. Things she done. Things she regrets. They don't hold weight with her anymore.

She's not surrounded by loved ones. Her soul mate isn't beside her, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiles; holding her hand and telling her how much he'll miss her. How much he loves hers. Will always love her. There are no children or grandchildren with tears in their eyes; sad but thankful that her pain will be ending soon.

It is what it is.

She clutched the white bed sheets between fragile and pale fingers, a sharp gasp escaping her lips at the strain. She feels herself growing lighter. Disappearing. Her diamond ring falls against her knuckle, held there only by her unfailing stubbornness to not let it go.

She hears a voice from long ago whispering in her ear, soft and soothing, encouraging her not to be afraid - to let the fear in - to let the fear go. It's a voice she's never forgotten, despite the years separating her from the sound. A voice she always knew she would hear again.

It's warm and gentle, the softest of touches caressing her skin, closing her eyes lovingly as her last breaths become shallower and shallower and her heartbeats grow fainter and fainter.

_So I started to count..._

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_Four._

_Five._

She lifted her trembling hands and folded them across her stomach, an adoring smile across her lips meant only for him.


	23. Chapter 23: Haunted

**Title: **Haunted  
**Rating: **G  
**Spoilers: **none  
**Summary: **He's her phantom limb.

* * *

He's her phantom limb.

A presence that's always there. In the pictures she refuses to put away, even though she cries every time she glances into his smiling face. In the clothes she can't bare to part with, even though others need them more than she does. In the cologne she sprays, just so she can close her eyes and imagine him there with her. Wrap herself up in his scent for just a single moment in time.

He's the ghost hidden in the corner of her eye.

Sometimes, she believes, if she can just turn her head quick enough, sharp enough, she'll catch him there and he'll be more than just her phantom. Her ghost. More than just the things he left behind. Pretend and loneliness won't have to be played anymore.

Then he'll be real.

He'll stay.


	24. Chapter 24: Innocence

**Title: **Innocence  
**Rating:** G  
**Spoilers:** none  
**Words:** 296  
**Summary:** It takes a year, but the innocence that used to brighten her eyes disappears.

* * *

Kate's four and dances to, 'One Day My Prince Will Come,' singing the words by heart, loud and off-key, in a red t-shirt and frayed jeans and her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. There's a diamond tiara on her head from the local Five and Dime store and the black remote control is her wand. She whirls it in around in the air, granting wishes and making everything sparkle around her with magic dust until everything's covered with a happily-ever-after.

Her bright green eyes glitter with innocence, the evils of the world only known to her in stories and nightmares. And those are forgotten with just the touch of her mother's hand against her cheek to wipe way the tears, and a quick but thorough search underneath her bed and into the closet. Monsters have no place in her world, her daddy tells her once. They aren't real.

But then her daddy doesn't come around much anymore and there's another man in her house, in her mommy's bed. He makes her laugh, but he also makes her cry. Kate's five now and she knows these things. Hears the loud whispers, the screams in the darkness of her bedroom. There's bruises and blood. Hospital trips and lies that slip too easily off the tongue.

It takes a year, but the innocence that used to brighten her eyes disappears. The singing and dancing stop because it makes Wayne's head hurt. He gets mad and picks up a brown bottle that he tells her is medicine, hits her mom for not keeping the 'brat' quiet.

When Kate cries now, it's not because of a scraped knee or in waking from a scary nightmare like before. When things were simpler.

It's because her daddy was wrong.

Monsters _are_ real.


	25. Chapter 25: You And Forever And Me

**Title:** you and forever and me  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary: **This is their 'Happily Ever After.'  
**Author's Notes: **post - _The End_

When I decided to end these drabbles, I knew I wanted to end them on a happy note, giving Kate and Jack the ultimate happy ending they deserved in life but could only have in death. And I hope I've succeeded in that.

I also wanted to thank everyone who has ever left a review. They mean much more than is possible for me to write in words. But a special thank you goes to **Jimelda** who I believe has reviewed almost every single on of these and who always leaves the most awesome and insightful reviews. _(And who has a beautiful Jack/Kate drabble set you should check out if you haven't yet.)_

Consider this a dedication.

_

* * *

_

_I found him whom my soul loveth  
__I held him and would not let him go.  
__Song of Solomon 3:4_

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kate squinted her eyes against the reflection of the sun off the waters, watching orange fade into red fade into pink as it slowly started sinking into the horizon. Waves crashed over her bare feet, splashing halfway up her legs before rolling away again, the sand covering her skin inch by inch.

The continuous motion of the ocean, almost hypnotizing in its simplicity, brings back memories, of her mother, Jack, and for the first time, happiness blooms over her instead of heartbreaking sadness. The smile on her face is one she's never had before, and it grows wider and wider as she laughs into the air, a sparkle in her eyes. This kind of joy was never supposed to be possible in her life. But it is, and it's here, and she's honestly never felt more alive.

In all it's ironic glory, that is.

She'd left her hair loose and now it fluttered carelessly around her shoulders, grazing her cheeks as it moved with a sudden light breeze. Her light green summer dress does the same, flirting with the skin above her knees as she runs her hands up and down her arms for that little bit of warmth she's missing. One that she knows will be here soon enough.

It's her favorite time of day. When there's just peace and beauty and -

_him._

Jack embraced her from behind, cradling her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, his warmth surrounding her like a warm blanket as she snuggled in closer. Her head dropped back against his chest and she laced her fingers through his as the sound of his steady heartbeat filled her ears. He kissed the curve of her shoulder, nudged her hair away to place one on her neck. He lingered there with a smile pressed against the smooth skin, taking his time, breathing her in, tightening his grip, she knows still not quite believing that she's his.

It's a moment where words aren't needed. The language they speak is a language filled with just a touch; where the smallest one is worth a thousand and one words.

They rock with the waves in a slow rolling caress, watching as the sun finally disappears in a brilliant showcase of mother nature's miracle. Where it'll wait for another day to shine in this paradise. An island that's their own personal Garden of Eden. One she'll never want to run away from.

But then again, there _are_ certain words that they can't help giving a voice to. A constant that flows warm and free throughout their days.

"I love you."

It's husky and low and the tenderness in the words makes her heartbeat quicken and causes a shiver to race down her spine. Tears prick the backs of her eyelids, and even in this perfect place, where forever exists, she finds it hard to believe she lived almost an entire lifetime without hearing those words whispered in her ear. A life where she would fall asleep at night with a prayer on her lips that she would see him again.

Kate squeezed his hand before untangling it with hers, bringing his up to press a soft, reassuring kiss to his palm; against his lifeline. "I love you, too."


End file.
